Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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