Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
