that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So here I am, sexting at work.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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