you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
