no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
