last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize