I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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