Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
