weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
