So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think I won the penis lottery.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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