We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
