My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
