apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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