my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
