You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
