you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i out mim tonsoeep
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
