In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
