Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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