I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
