Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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