the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize