dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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