even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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