that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
