dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
