PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
