Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
