Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
