maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
