1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
