All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize