I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
