so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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