Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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