If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
