My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
