whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
