"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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