mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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