dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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