she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
