Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
