just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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