I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
