Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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