If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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