Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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