I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
