so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
