She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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