I just gift wrapped bread.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
