I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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