I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
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This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
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I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I touched a dick in church today
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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