Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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