I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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