Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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