After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
