I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
