8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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