Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
is it fun? or sober?
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