Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
