i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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