There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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