Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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