Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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