Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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